by Josh Greenberger

Good Wishes For The New Year. Please feel free to send this to a loved one.

May you be healthier this year than last year.

May you have more money this year than last year.

May you drive a bigger car this year.

May you have a bigger house this year.

May your brother-in-law get out of jail.

May your mother-in-law move out.

May you be acquitted.

May your father-in-law always have bail money.

May your dog scoop his own poop.

May your partner return with your safe.

May your neighbor return with your wife.

May your accountant find more loopholes.

May your lawyer find your accountant.

May you find a Bluetooth system that's covered by dental insurance.

May all your ex's move to Texas.

May your medical premiums cost less than your son's medical school.

May your cable repair guy get there while you still live there.

May you find a toupee with velcro.

May you lose a few pounds so you don't have to use the freight elevator.

May your laser eye surgery be successful so you can stop getting into cop cars and saying, "To the airport, please."

And if you should wake up from this ridiculous dream, may you have enough sleeping pills to get back to sleep.

Happy New Year!

by Josh Greenberger

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Josh Greenberger is a computer consultant for over two decades, he has developed software for such organizations as NASA's Goddard Institute of Space Studies, AT&T, Charles Schwab, Bell Laboratories and Chase Manhattan Bank. Since 1984, his letters and articles have appeared in such publications as The New York Post, The Daily News, The Village Voice, The Jewish Press, Hamodia and others. His articles have ranged from humor to scientific to current events. Has written a book disproving the theory of evolution (Human Intelligence Gone Ape), which has been available in stores for about two decades. Has written several screenplays, some have been optioned, 2 have been close to production. Visit his site: JoshGreenberger.com