Holiday With The Quagmires
 

With all this talk of doom, gloom, losing, torture, abuse, and leaks, I thought I’d take this opportunity to share some of the people we have to be thankful for.

The X File
During a visit to the American Enterprise Institute televised live Monday on CNN, Vice President Cheney’s face was partially covered with a big flashing black “X”. CNN responded to Matt Drudge by calling it a “glitch” and added later that senior management is launching an investigation as a control room staffer reportedly “laughed” when the “X” flashed.

As someone who works in television, there is no way a giant “X” is even accessible without being first placed there. One of the many people at CNN who hates Republicans, was probably just screwing around and placed an “X” over someone’s head during an earlier soundcheck. But those of us in TV know that you don’t screw around like that because it always comes back to mess with you.

How many times have we heard of people late night at TV stations watching a porn flick on one monitor and accidentally pushing the wrong button sending cheesecake out to their viewers? Accidents like the one CNN’s calling a “glitch” only happen when people set the events in motion.

If someone did that to Hillary, she’d see to it heads would roll. Nothing will happen this time. We’ll be making fun of CNN all day. Let’s move on.

He’s Back…!
With the 2008 election seemingly on everyone’s minds, we will all be graced with the return of the “bimbo eruption” watch. That ol’ trouser snake Bill Clinton is reportedly giving Senator Hillary and her handlers all they can handle keeping that snake where it belongs.

“At a recent $200-a-head tsunami relief cocktail benefit at the St Regis Hotel in New York, hawkishly vigilant handlers from Mrs. Clinton's senate office created quite a sideshow as they heavy-handedly tried to control the photo-op to ensure that the touchy-feely former prez wasn't photographed along with the evening's other guest of honour: tsunami victim and sexy lingerie model, Petra Nemcova.”
– Irish Independent

During his presidency, the mainstream media marveled at Bill Clinton’s ability to lie, do so with charm, and with no visible sign of conscience. Because of him, the word “parse” became part of our daily language. The press marveled at his ability to womanize right under his wife’s nose and basically berated one hussy for being quite the little stank ho who didn’t go to the cleaners in a timely manner with soiled clothing.

Thanks to Bill Clinton, middle schoolers perform oral sex and consider it a mere activity. So it’s no wonder he may consider the same with Hillary, thus our lovable hound dog is making a reappearance.

"Clinton's people made sure a lot of other people were pushed into the picture," says one bemused witness, who felt the blatant attempts to keep the two apart ironically drew more attention to the situation. "They obviously don't want him pictured with pretty girls. It's probably smart. But they’re not very subtle about it.”

2008 is going to be so much fun….

Who’s Reading All These Damn Books?
It seems everytime you turn around, some fool we never heard of before has a new book out, and people who’ve said more than their piece also want us to plop down hard-earned cash to read their drivel. When people who can get on television anytime they want come at you with a new book, it tells me someone is broke and needs a few hundred grand to pay a few credit card bills.

So it’s not surprising that the “Peace Mom” Cindy Sheehan is coming out with her musings for sale. I guess all those liberal leeches that’s adhered to her need to eat.

“After spending scorching August days with hundreds of war protesters at her makeshift camp near President Bush's Crawford ranch, Cindy Sheehan slipped away each night to her tent or RV for a few quiet moments on her laptop. Now those journal entries are in her book, "Not One More Mother's Child," to be released Wednesday. The paperback also contains some of her speeches to peace groups earlier this year, letters to politicians and writings since leaving Crawford.”
– Associated Press

Cindy Sheehan has a blog. Only a liberal would try and sell the public the same crap they previously gave away. Only liberals are that full of themselves.

"I never wrote anything more than a note to excuse my kids from school before Casey was killed, so to see something I wrote in print with my name on it is amazing," Sheehan told The Associated Press by phone from her home in Berkeley, Calif.”

As I wrote before (for free), Cindy Sheehan may have been a grieving mom, but she has morphed into an attention-starved celebrity wannabe self-absorbed by importance she really doesn’t have. She truly believes that by relentless insults thrown at the Commander-in-Chief, she can single-handedly stop the war. She actually believes he’ll stop everything to talk to her because that what she wants.

How pitiful.

“Sheehan gained national attention during her 26-day vigil on a Texas roadside near President Bush's ranch in August. She refused to move until the president met with her or ended his vacation. That moved Arnie Kotler, the founder of a Hawaii publishing company who saw news coverage and read Sheehan's Internet blog entries from the protest.

"I thought, 'This is already a book.”

Told ya…

“This is incredible,'" said Kotler of Koa Books, which printed about 20,000 copies. "We got it done as quickly as we could, and the deepest reason is to stop the war."

Users of a feather flock together. I wonder if flushing Cindy’s book down the toilet will cause riots in liberal strongholds? You never know; it may be worth a try.

“In a chapter called "The Peaceful Occupation of Crawford, Texas," Sheehan chronicles the daily events of the protest, such as being bombarded with media interviews, the campsite wedding of two peace activists and visits from celebrities Martin Sheen, Joan Baez and the Rev. Al Sharpton.”

Soon there may be a reality television show called, “It’s Good To Be Cindy Sheehan!”

"The right-wingers are really having a field day with me," she wrote."

Any tissues in the house?

He’s Back 2
It’s fun to watch the intellectual giants of Hollywood get fed up with us ignorant Americans who were stupid enough to make them rich, go to other countries and badmouth us, then discover what we imbeciles already knew: America is the best place to live.

Last year, I came across a column written in an overseas publication where another American decided to give up on us and seek shelter in a more civilized society. I passed on commenting on his sentiments. Man, did I screw up.

The scholarly Johnny Depp left the USA to raise his daughter in France because we were just too damn primitive a culture to raise her amongst. Funny how things change in a year….

“Hollywood star JOHNNY DEPP is so shocked by the riots raging through France, he's considering abandoning his home in the country. The FINDING NEVERLAND heart-throb moved to Europe when life in Los Angeles became too violent. He has since divided time between the two continents - but he fears France will be scarred permanently by the current troubles.” – The Sun

You know France must be in sheer anarchy if it’s considered more violent than Los Angeles.
”He says, ‘It's insane, that setting cars on fire is the new strike. I went there (to France) to live because it seemed so simple. Now it's anything but. I don't know how they'll recover from this.’"

For all of America’s faults, it is simple. At least it’s simple for people who think clearly.

America is the country everyone tries to either immigrate to, legally or not. Only our most elite boneheads want to escape from America. And when they find their new home ain’t so hot, they seem all shocked like this is some strange revelation. But why are we surprised?

Glad I Was Never A Fan
While I am a fan of good science fiction, I never really got into Kurt Vonnegut. Guess that was a good call….

“Kurt Vonnegut, author of the 1969 anti-war classic Slaughterhouse Five, made the provocative remarks during an interview in New York for his new book, Man Without a Country, a collection of writings critical of US President George W. Bush, Vonnegut, 83, has been a strong opponent of Mr. Bush and the US-led war in Iraq, but until now has stopped short of defending terrorism. But in discussing his views with The Weekend Australian, Vonnegut said it was "sweet and honourable" to die for what you believe in, and rejected the idea that terrorists were motivated by twisted religious beliefs.”

I don’t think Vonnegut is anti-American. Senile, maybe. Is he saying that there’s something noble about being both Muslim and a suicide bomber? What do you say about an old man who is implying that killing innocent civilians is “sweet and honourable?” Kurt Vonnegut is an idiot.

"They are dying for their own self-respect," he said. "It's a terrible thing to deprive someone of their self-respect. It's like your culture is nothing, your race is nothing, you're nothing." Asked if he thought of terrorists as soldiers, Vonnegut, a decorated World War II veteran, said: "I regard them as very brave people, yes."

If I may once again be judgmental, when you’re wearing the same style of clothes your ancestors wore four hundred years ago, and you call everyone else infidels, I’d personally conclude your race was in trouble. Especially, if your way of getting attention was to murder women and children who aren’t enemy combatants.

Whether we’re talking about Kurt Vonnegut or Congressman John P. Murtha of Pennsylvania, just because one is a veteran, doesn’t make them an expert on war. I’ll bet there are more than a few active duty servicemembers who’d laugh at the thought of their commanding officer as a Joint Chief. I know there is a love affair in this country with the officer class, but I’d love to see how much better morale and readiness could be if an enlisted man could have some say at a higher level.

Out-to-pasture officers, who were made to feel better than everyone else from day one, can say some scary things. Kurt Vonnegut is a prime example.

“On the Iraq war, he said: "What George Bush and his gang did not realise was that people fight back." Vonnegut suggested suicide bombers must feel an "amazing high". He said: "You would know death is going to be painless, so the anticipation - it must be an amazing high."

I rest my case….